It's T-Shirt Time - The Jersey Shore is back in full effect!

GTL-GYM•TAN•LAUNDRY

MTV's Jersey Shore, about self-described Guidos and Guidettes sharing a house in Seaside Heights, New Jersey, reminds me of my days living in Philly and the summers I spent partying at the Jersey Shore. This show may be one of the worst thing to happen to the Northern East Coast in decades. Living in the south, I have learned that the general view of Northerners, Yankee's as the southerns like to call us, is not good.  Yankee's are seen to be rude, crass, loud, short- tempered and obnoxious!  

DING! DING! DING! 
And the winner for feeding into this stereotype is....
MTV's The Jersey Shore. 

SHIRT BEFORE DA SHIRT

Pauly D, Vinny, The Situation, J-Woww, Sammie Sweetheart, Ronnie, Snookie and now Deena are earning millions for acting like idiots on national TV. I have come to the conclusion that I will never earn millions. I have intelligence and respect for myself and those are definitely low on the list of qualifying factors to strike it rich in Reality TV.

That doesn't change the fact The Jersey Shore is in the third season and I love this show. For The Jersey Shore, MTV found eight of the most ridiculous & absurd humans beings on the face of the planet, put them together in a beach house with unlimited access to alcohol and a hot tube.  From the first episode to Snookie's arrest, the show has been a glorified train wreck. And I love that it happens every week at the same time in the same place in my living room!

IT"S T-SHIRT TIME!

The appeal is that these inane cast members of The Jersey Shore are what they are. These are not Mensa scholar. It's hard to believe they are high school graduates, but they are definitely good for some jaw dropping laughter and gawking.

They have the new science of acronyms down.  That must have been their concentrated area of study while in school. 

Let's just run through the top 3 acronyms that you need to know in action order:

1. GTL - GYM • TAN • LAUNDRY - In order to have fun at night, you have to get your chores completed during the day.  For this Guido Nation, that includes: Hitting up the GYM so that your body it tight. Taking in the UV rays at the Salon so that your skin is TAN and then stopping by to pick up your LAUNDRY so that you clothes are crisp and fresh for the club. 

CABS ARE HERE!

Now the Guido & Guidette chores are complete!

They have to get ready while wearing The Shirt Before Da Shirt and then just before they are ready to leave, It's T-shirt Time. And like clock work every night, Pauly "D" yells throughout the house Cabs are here! Let the Jersey Shore party begin!

2. MVP - MIKE • VINNY • PAULY -       For boys night out, it's the is the required Guido Jersey Shore crew. MVP is only complete when you have all three.  MIKE "The Situation" is needed to scout the territory and bring the girls in.  PAULY "D" is needed to play wingman and keep them laughing and smiling. VINNY is there to catch the leftovers and jump on the Grenades so that no one gets hurt!

The leading cast for the night are now together partying and fist pumping at the club!

MVP - MIKE•VINNY•PAULY

3. DTF - DOWN TO F$©K! - The club is jamming, the fist are pumping and the girls are swarming. It's not a matter of finding the marrying type.  After a day of GTL, MVP is not looking for Mrs. Right.  The are looking for Miss Tonight.  The determining factor in whether or not a lady is lucky enough to make it home with one of these italian stallions is whether or not she is DTF - DOWN TO F$©K!.

DTF - DOWN TO F$%#

So in the Guido Nation language of The Jersey Shore crew. It is a perfect day when they finish their GTL. Then MVP heads to the club and finds girls that are DTF. The girls come back to the house and get in the hot tub and no one has to blow the Grenade Whistle!

There you go. That about sums it up until the next week when I take another crack at understanding the fascination with MTV's Guido Nation on The Jersey Shore!

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